French Champagne, Irish Whiskey and wódka

When we see a bottle with the word CHAMPAGNE it’s definitely FRENCH.

When we see a bottle with the word WHISKEY (ending in –key and not –ky like the Scotch variety) we know by it’s spelling it’s definitely Irish.

However, when we see a bottle of vodka it’s not immediately apparent where it comes from.  Now this is one of the things you will notice this summer when you come to Poznań. One of the things Poland is famous for is it’s vodka and it’s more hard to come by big brother called bimber (our equivalent of poitin) which is 90% proof.

Let’s get one thing clear to start off with wódka bottle pictured above is definitely not Polish, and fortunately it’s extremely hard to find in these parts of Europe as in my opinion and that of many of my friends and colleagues in Poland it’s one of the worst varieties on the market, yet thanks to some very clever marketing people they have managed to market it in the countries where vodka is not so popular or well-known, i.e. Ireland and the UK.

We as Irish people have come a long way since the Celtic Tiger and even outside of Dublin’s Temple Bar area we all now know our champagnes from our cavas and proseccos  and our single malts from our JDs and coke, however after attending two weddings in Ireland recently two things became clear to me

(1) Irish people (myself included before I came to Poland) don’t know quality vodka and

(2) Irish people don’t know how to drink vodka properly (much as I myself didn’t before coming here)

Allow me to explain – when I left Ireland 12 years ago to come and live in Poland I found myself confronted with a problem – just as back home it’s expensive to drink vodka, here it’s expensive to drink whiskey, so my Polish friend and vodka connoisseur (and owner of one of Poznań’s two Irish pubs) taught me a thing or two about this drink – I had to admit I never was a big vodka drinker – I didn’t like the smell of it… this perhaps is lesson 1.

Lesson 1 – A good vodka (i.e. one that does not begin with sm…) does NOT have a smell, it should be odourless and colourless

Lesson 2 – the Poles drink vodka NEAT but accompanied by something called a ‘popykta’ this is a NON alcoholic tumbler full of things ranging from freshly squeezed fruit juices to what we call minerals such as cola or lemonade. They drink them separately to avoid the dreaded hangover in the morning. Trust me this does work (as long as you don’t go mixing it with other things) try it for yourself and see (I’m not sure why but apparently it’s something to ask your Chemistry teacher about).

Lesson 3 – They usually drink their vodka ice cold… one of the qualities of a decent pure vodka is that it does not freeze so what they do is they remove the bottle from the freezer – smack the bottom of the bottle really hard while loosening the cap, the result is an ice cold gloopiness which is really pleasant (even when you’ve got a cold as the alcohol contained within will expel most of the bacteria harbouring around the throat area)

Poland has a huge tradition of vodka. My favourites are Belvedere red (really smooth but expensive vodka), Wyborowa (another what the Poles call ‘clean’ vodka) and Żubrówka (this is a coloured vodka usually accompanied by freshly squeezed apple juice) . The prices you will find a world of difference compared to the local ‘offy’ back home… trust me you will be filling your suitcase and wondering how many bottles you can squeeze in before hitting Michael O’Leary’s baggage limitation allowance.

Ireland’s strongest uisce beatha (this is incidentally the word from which the English originally derived the word ‘whiskey’) is called poitin (pronounced pocheen) and Polish eau de vie is called spiritus. Both forms resemble a clear, colourless brandy that have been produced through a process of fermentation and double distillation.

This summer, Poznań is offering many different vodka tasting sessions in several of it’s fantastic bars and nightclubs, be sure to check my reviews regularly – and remember the vodka bottle shown in the picture will definitely not be on the menu…